Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Assault
What Is Sexual Assault?
Most often when people hear the words "sexual assault" they think of rape. One might automatically picture a stranger jumping out of the bushes to rape a woman walking home from work late at night or jogging alone in a park. While it is true that rape by a stranger is a form of sexual assault, it is vital to include the wide range of unwanted sexual contacts that many people experience in our definition of these words. Sexual assault can include child sexual abuse, rape, attempted rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, fondling, and sexual harassment. There is a range of nonconsensual sexual acts that create a continuum in which each form of sexual assault is linked to the others by their root causes, as well as by the effects they have on individuals and communities. While sexual assault can take many forms, it is important to remember that the loss of power and control that a victim of sexual assault experiences is a common thread.
Childhood sexual abuse represents any kind of sexual contact between an adult or older teen and a child. This behavior is used to gain power over the child and often involves a betrayal of the child's trust.
There are many types of sexual abuse; some include physical contact or touching offenses. This includes fondling, touching sexual organs, bestiality, masturbation, lewd exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person, flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude, making the child touch the adult sexually, and vaginal or anal penetration with self or objects. Non touching offenses include exposing a child to pornographic material, indecent exposure, leering and deliberately putting the child in the position of having to witness an act of sexual intercourse.
How Common Is Child Sexual Abuse?
It has been shown that 3-7% of boys are sexually abused by the time they reach eighteen and 2-5% of girls, on the whole two out of ten children are victims of abuse. These averages are of course conservative since most occurrences are never reported.
Was I Sexually Abused?
Pay attention to your feelings and follow your gut. A lot of victims of sexual abuse tend to block out memories they have of the incident only to be triggered by painful reminders: specific sounds, smells, words and facial expressions. If you suspect that you were sexually abused, you probably were. Trust you feelings and memories.
What Are The Affects Of Sexual Abuse?
Being in your body
* Do you feel at home in your body?
* Do you feel comfortable expressing yourself sexually with another?
* Do you feel that you are a part of your body or does your body feel like a separate entity?
* Have you ever intentionally and physically hurt yourself?
Emotions
* Do you feel out of control of your feelings?
* Do you feel you sometimes don't understand all the feelings you are experiencing?
* Are you overwhelmed by the wide range of feelings you have?
Relationships
* What are your expectations of your partner in a relationship?
* Do you find it easy to trust others?
* Do you find difficulty in making commitments?
* Even though you're in a relationship, are you still lonely?
* Is it hard for you to allow others to get close to you?
* Do you find yourself in relationships with people who remind you of your abuser,
or you know is no good for you?
Self-Confidence
* Do you find it difficult to love yourself?
* Do you have a hard time accepting yourself?
* Are you ashamed of yourself?
* Do you have expectations of yourself that aren't realistic?
What Problems are caused by Sexual Abuse?
Major Long-Term Medical Symptoms of Sexual Abuse
1. Insomnia
2. Vaginal or Pelvic Pain
3. Eating Disorders
4. Headaches
5. TMJ syndrome
6. Low back pain, chest pressure
7. Asthma
8. Dizziness/fainting
9. Self harming/self-mutilation
10. Chronic physical complaints
Major Long-Term Psychological Symptoms of Sexual Abuse
1. Anxiety
2. Panic Attacks
3. Low self-esteem
4. Stress disorders - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
5. Personality disorders
6. Substance abuse
7. Self-abuse behaviors
8. Co-dependency
All of these feelings and reactions are normal responses to rape or sexual assault. It is also common for some feelings to resurface or new ones to emerge later on in a survivor's life. Periods of stress, new intimate relationships, the anniversary of the incident, or situations such as seeing the perpetrator or testifying in court can trigger intense feelings.
What to Do if Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted
Believe them. A person has very little to gain by making up a story about sexual assault.
Listen to them. A victim of sexual assault needs someone who will listen to what they have to say without blame or judgment.
Do not tell them what to do. A person who has been sexually assaulted has had every ounce of power and control stripped from them. They only way they are going to gain that power back is by making decisions for themselves.
Give them information, provide them options, but don't tell them what to do. A great place to get information is your local sexual assault center.
Why Do I Have To Deal With It Now, If It Happened Back Then?
There are many reasons why children do not deal with the abuse at the time of the incident: unconscious feelings of shame, disbelief, and self blame. Abusers may also threaten or bribe children into not speaking up, convincing the child that it is indeed their fault, and that they will never be believed otherwise. These tactics are used to silence the child. Under no circumstances, is the child to blame for the abuse. Although, if the abuse is not dealt with in a therapeutic and healing setting, the effects of past abuse will remain and undermine the victim for years to come.
Does It Get Better?
The worst part, the abuse, is over. Now your next step is to surround yourself with supportive loving, caring people, and focus on the desire you have to heal yourself. This is your healing process. You must be gentle and patient with yourself as your healing process gently unfolds. You are giving yourself the gift of coming to life, again and you are worth taking each step to heal.
Now What?
You are not alone, and in fact, in recognizing what has happened to you and speaking about your experience is one of the most vital components in the healing process. You have already taken a giant step. If you think that you have been a victim of sexual abuse, you need to take action immediately so your life will not be undermined by the past one day more. Find a counselor that specializes in childhood sexual assault if you were sexually abused as a child. Build yourself a support team! Find a support group that deals with sexual assault. Look for on-line support groups for sexual assault. Get HELP!
" We as survivors must release what we have kept buried inside for so long or it will stay there forever haunting our every move".
Marie Waldrep
Most often when people hear the words "sexual assault" they think of rape. One might automatically picture a stranger jumping out of the bushes to rape a woman walking home from work late at night or jogging alone in a park. While it is true that rape by a stranger is a form of sexual assault, it is vital to include the wide range of unwanted sexual contacts that many people experience in our definition of these words. Sexual assault can include child sexual abuse, rape, attempted rape, incest, exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, fondling, and sexual harassment. There is a range of nonconsensual sexual acts that create a continuum in which each form of sexual assault is linked to the others by their root causes, as well as by the effects they have on individuals and communities. While sexual assault can take many forms, it is important to remember that the loss of power and control that a victim of sexual assault experiences is a common thread.
Childhood sexual abuse represents any kind of sexual contact between an adult or older teen and a child. This behavior is used to gain power over the child and often involves a betrayal of the child's trust.
There are many types of sexual abuse; some include physical contact or touching offenses. This includes fondling, touching sexual organs, bestiality, masturbation, lewd exhibition of the genitals or pubic area of any person, flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude, making the child touch the adult sexually, and vaginal or anal penetration with self or objects. Non touching offenses include exposing a child to pornographic material, indecent exposure, leering and deliberately putting the child in the position of having to witness an act of sexual intercourse.
How Common Is Child Sexual Abuse?
It has been shown that 3-7% of boys are sexually abused by the time they reach eighteen and 2-5% of girls, on the whole two out of ten children are victims of abuse. These averages are of course conservative since most occurrences are never reported.
Was I Sexually Abused?
Pay attention to your feelings and follow your gut. A lot of victims of sexual abuse tend to block out memories they have of the incident only to be triggered by painful reminders: specific sounds, smells, words and facial expressions. If you suspect that you were sexually abused, you probably were. Trust you feelings and memories.
What Are The Affects Of Sexual Abuse?
Being in your body
* Do you feel at home in your body?
* Do you feel comfortable expressing yourself sexually with another?
* Do you feel that you are a part of your body or does your body feel like a separate entity?
* Have you ever intentionally and physically hurt yourself?
Emotions
* Do you feel out of control of your feelings?
* Do you feel you sometimes don't understand all the feelings you are experiencing?
* Are you overwhelmed by the wide range of feelings you have?
Relationships
* What are your expectations of your partner in a relationship?
* Do you find it easy to trust others?
* Do you find difficulty in making commitments?
* Even though you're in a relationship, are you still lonely?
* Is it hard for you to allow others to get close to you?
* Do you find yourself in relationships with people who remind you of your abuser,
or you know is no good for you?
Self-Confidence
* Do you find it difficult to love yourself?
* Do you have a hard time accepting yourself?
* Are you ashamed of yourself?
* Do you have expectations of yourself that aren't realistic?
What Problems are caused by Sexual Abuse?
Major Long-Term Medical Symptoms of Sexual Abuse
1. Insomnia
2. Vaginal or Pelvic Pain
3. Eating Disorders
4. Headaches
5. TMJ syndrome
6. Low back pain, chest pressure
7. Asthma
8. Dizziness/fainting
9. Self harming/self-mutilation
10. Chronic physical complaints
Major Long-Term Psychological Symptoms of Sexual Abuse
1. Anxiety
2. Panic Attacks
3. Low self-esteem
4. Stress disorders - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
5. Personality disorders
6. Substance abuse
7. Self-abuse behaviors
8. Co-dependency
All of these feelings and reactions are normal responses to rape or sexual assault. It is also common for some feelings to resurface or new ones to emerge later on in a survivor's life. Periods of stress, new intimate relationships, the anniversary of the incident, or situations such as seeing the perpetrator or testifying in court can trigger intense feelings.
What to Do if Someone You Know is Sexually Assaulted
Believe them. A person has very little to gain by making up a story about sexual assault.
Listen to them. A victim of sexual assault needs someone who will listen to what they have to say without blame or judgment.
Do not tell them what to do. A person who has been sexually assaulted has had every ounce of power and control stripped from them. They only way they are going to gain that power back is by making decisions for themselves.
Give them information, provide them options, but don't tell them what to do. A great place to get information is your local sexual assault center.
Why Do I Have To Deal With It Now, If It Happened Back Then?
There are many reasons why children do not deal with the abuse at the time of the incident: unconscious feelings of shame, disbelief, and self blame. Abusers may also threaten or bribe children into not speaking up, convincing the child that it is indeed their fault, and that they will never be believed otherwise. These tactics are used to silence the child. Under no circumstances, is the child to blame for the abuse. Although, if the abuse is not dealt with in a therapeutic and healing setting, the effects of past abuse will remain and undermine the victim for years to come.
Does It Get Better?
The worst part, the abuse, is over. Now your next step is to surround yourself with supportive loving, caring people, and focus on the desire you have to heal yourself. This is your healing process. You must be gentle and patient with yourself as your healing process gently unfolds. You are giving yourself the gift of coming to life, again and you are worth taking each step to heal.
Now What?
You are not alone, and in fact, in recognizing what has happened to you and speaking about your experience is one of the most vital components in the healing process. You have already taken a giant step. If you think that you have been a victim of sexual abuse, you need to take action immediately so your life will not be undermined by the past one day more. Find a counselor that specializes in childhood sexual assault if you were sexually abused as a child. Build yourself a support team! Find a support group that deals with sexual assault. Look for on-line support groups for sexual assault. Get HELP!
" We as survivors must release what we have kept buried inside for so long or it will stay there forever haunting our every move".
Marie Waldrep
