Remember its okay to talk about what you went through because keeping it bottled up inside sucks the life out of you. However speaking from my own experience most people can not handle hearing it because it is to overwhelming for them. I have lost many friends because they were kind enough to listen but my story is to much and they don't know how to respond so they just go away. That is really hard to deal with because it brings up many types of feelings. It makes me want to numb and not feel but those are old coping habits that I have fought hard at to heal from. Remember you are not alone! Healing is in layers. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
My name is Marie Waldrep. I am a survivor of incest, childhood sexual assault, rape and domestic violence. My have a personal website called The Mighty Phoenix with helpful info on childhood sexual abuse that I created to help me as well as help others in there healing process. I was 5 the earliest time that I remember the sexual abuse starting. It occurred throughout my childhood into my teen years. I was 34 before seeking help for the incest and childhood sexual assaults.
I am the author of A Voice That Has Spoken From Within: A Survivor’s Feelings Expressed Through Poetry and Emotions of A Survivors Heart. I spend many hours of my time advocating for women and children that have been abused/ that are still being abused. My desire is for all that have been abuse to be able to find their own voice and begin in their own healing process.
Please know that you are not alone. There are people that do care and want to help you.
Domestic violence toward women: Recognize the patterns and seek help
Your partner apologizes and says the hurtful behavior won't happen again. But you fear it will. At times you may start to doubt your own judgment, or wonder whether you're going crazy. You may even feel like you've imagined the whole thing. But the emotional or physical pain you feel is real. If this sounds familiar, you may be the victim of domestic violence.
Also called domestic abuse, intimate partner violence or battering, domestic violence occurs between people in intimate relationships. It can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and physical abuse. Men are sometimes abused by female or male partners, but domestic violence is most often directed toward women. It can happen in heterosexual or lesbian relationships.
Unfortunately, domestic violence against women is common. It happens to teenage girls and women of all backgrounds. As many as 4 million women suffer abuse from their husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends or intimate partners in the United States each year.
Recognizing abuse: Know the signs
It may not be easy to identify abuse, especially at first. While some relationships are clearly abusive from the outset, abuse often starts subtly and gets worse over time. For example, abuse may begin with occasional hurtful comments, jealousy or controlling behavior. As it gets worse, the abuse may become more frequent, severe or violent. As the cycle of abuse worsens, your safety or the safety of your children may be in danger.
You may be a victim of abuse if you're in a relationship with someone who:
You are very likely in an abusive relationship if you have a relationship with someone who does even one of the following:
Pregnancy, children and abuse
Pregnancy is a particularly perilous time for an abused woman. Not only is your health at risk, but also the health of your unborn child. Abuse can begin or may increase during pregnancy.
Abusive relationships can also be particularly damaging to children, even if they're just witnesses. But for women in an abusive relationship, chances are much higher that their children also will be direct victims of abuse. Over half of men who abuse their female partners also abuse their children.
You may worry that seeking help may further endanger you or your children, or that it may break up your family. But in the long run, seeking help when you safely can is the best way to protect your children — and yourself.
An abusive relationship: It's about power and control
Though there are no typical victims of domestic violence, abusive relationships do share similar characteristics. In all cases, the abuser aims to exert power and control over his partner.
Although a lot of people think domestic violence is about anger, it really isn't. Batterers do tend to take their anger out on their intimate partner. But it's not really about anger. It's about trying to instill fear and wanting to have power and control in the relationship. In an abusive relationship, the abuser may use varying tactics to gain power and control, including:
Breaking the cycle: Difficult, but possible with help
Domestic violence is part of a continuing cycle that's difficult to break. If you're in an abusive situation, you may recognize this pattern:
This can be paralyzing, and you may feel helpless or as though your only option is to stay in the abusive situation. It's important to recognize that you may not be in a position to resolve the situation on your own.
But you can do something — and the sooner you take action the better. You may need outside help, and that's OK. Without help, the abuse will likely continue. Leaving the abusive relationship may be the only way to break the cycle.
A number of government and private agencies provide resources and support to women who are abused and their children. These resources include 24-hour telephone hot lines, shelters, counseling and legal services. Many of these services are free and can provide immediate assistance.
Create a safety plan
Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. You're the only one who knows the safest time to leave. You may know you are in an abusive relationship and realize you need to leave as soon as you safely can. Or, you may be concerned about your partner's behavior and think you may need to get out at some point in the future. Either way, being prepared can help you leave quickly if you need to. Consider taking these precautions:
Keep your communication private
It isn't uncommon for an abuser to monitor mail, telephone and Internet communication. Take precautions to help maintain your privacy and safety by following these steps.
If you think your abuser is monitoring your computer use, the safest bet is to access a computer at a friend's house or at the library. If you do use a shared home computer, there are several steps you can take to help maintain your privacy:
Where to find help
No one deserves to be abused. If you think you may be in an abusive situation, seek help or advice as soon as you safely can. There are many resources available to help you. The first step to getting out of an abusive situation may be as easy as making one phone call. In an emergency situation, call 911, your local emergency number or your local law enforcement agency. If you aren't in immediate danger, the following resources can help:
Original Article: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/domestic-violence/WO00044
Marital rape is a form of domestic violence. It makes no difference if the person who rapes you is your spouse. Rape by a spouse is still rape and it is illegal.
Researchers believe that marital rape does as much, if not more, traumatic damage to the victim than rape by a stranger. While any case of rape is traumatic, when the perpetrator is a trusted spouse, the effects of the rape go very deep. When rape caused by a spouse, the violation goes beyond a physical and sexual violation. It makes the victim question her own sense of judgment and value as a lovable individual.
Many women who are the victims of marital rape are raped repeatedly by their spouse. This leaves them to question if they have the right to report the rape, as it may appear that they condoned the rape, or that is was a part of sexual play.
Defining Marital Rape
It is sometimes difficult for a woman to define what takes place in her marital bed as rape. She may feel that since the rape is taking place by someone with whom she genuinely loves and interacts with on a daily basis, she may question whether it is truly rape. However, if a woman is being forced by her husband, manipulated or coerced into sex acts that she is not comfortable with, that is marital rape.
Marital Rape Can Occur in Many Different Forms
I would like to express one very important thing <3
Take care of your body by eating clean
That is fresh fruit and vegetables
Lean cuts of meat (fish, chicken, turkey, etc.)
Do not wait until you are diagnosed with diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, hypothyroidism, hypertension, sleep apnea, edema and the list could go on and on with many other issues. Most can be prevented if you take care of your body. . .
I realize that some people have horrible things happen in their lives that cause them to lose sight of taking care of their selves.
Please take care of you! You are worth every effort you put into yourself.
Marie Waldrep ~
I was crowned Ms. Ga Ambassador FoRe! Domestic-Sexual Abuse in Las Vegas December 5, 2015. It was a very special moment for me and it was a private ceremony as the Crown was placed upon my heal. Tears, and a mixture of emotions run through you when the moment comes. It is an honor! Truly Beauty from Ashes! Humbly Embracing Royalty!